write-like-you-mean-it: hkchynnar: write-like-you-mean-it: I am going to do Stats in the morning because: 1) Tired; only 3 hours of sleep yesterday. 2) Emotionally tired of feeling so damn depressed and overall, crappy. 3) I cannot retain this information productively right now. Anyways. Back to School Night gave me this giant injection of happy.  My parents met my teachers, but it was really like my teachers met me, too.  I got to talk to them a bit, and I feel like I can finally feel comfortable in class now that I have some sort of identity, I guess. It’s hard to explain, but that’s just how I feel. Then once it was over, I was just like… “Let’s go visit Ms. Panosian, guys.” My dad walks in, I walk in behind him, my mom following me. Dad: Hi Ms. Panosian! Ms. P: *Packing bags, looking down at bags* Hi… *looks up, does not recognize dad, looks at me* “OH MY GOD, VARSHA!!! IT’S MY VARSHA, I’VE MISSED MY VARSHA!” *hugs* Me: *hugs back & thinks, teachers actually like me?* “HI!!!” That was a Kodak moment.  It sounds so nerdy and corny, but whatever. I know only a few people who have been that excited to see me (and it’s a pretty short list, lol). Ms. Panosian has to be one of the teachers, probably the only teacher besides Ms. M and Ms. V (look at how lazy I am to spell. aha.), that I’ve really gotten to know and talk-talk to.  After talking to my parents and I, I realized just how much I appreciated her on so many levels. Seriously, seeing her this afternoon made me so motivated and happy that I really wanted to cry. See? I’m a complete sap. But honestly, I’ve been feeling like Scum of The World lately.  My 7 (emo) blogs prove it right. And I’ve been in contact with Ms. M, Previous Book Club Adviser Who I Hella Miss, and she’s provided so much encouragement for me too. It’s one thing to be motivated by my peers, but it’s another for teachers to do so.  Because I think my friends obviously know my personality and character more than most of my teachers do, but Ms. M & Ms. P  know my character, as well as my academic weaknesses and strengths.  And when I’m advised on those things, it means the most to me when it’s from people I look up to. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I love them.  Those teachers who inspire me to go the extra mile, those teachers that leave the biggest impact. I really needed that talk.  It helped so much. Especially when Ms. P notably said: “Varsha, you have to stop being polite. You must assert, you can do it.” Because it’s true.  I am passive, but it’s not to the point where I can’t speak up for myself, it’s just that I don’t. And that’s all going to change. I’m going to be stressed out this year, no doubt. But I already feel like I’m changing in a positive way, I just can’t tell how.  I think that the things that are coming up, movies with my bffs, homecoming, college fair, journalism staff interviews (this Friday, self, don’t forget! 3:05), and the journalism trip… Hopefully they will change me for the better, even if it’s in the smallest of ways.  Because I do need a change. Not a “I want to be a better person” change exactly, but more of a “I’m going to make myself the person I want to be, the person I can be if I want to” change. WHERE DID ALL THIS OPTIMISM BLOOM FROM. Like it matters, but I’m just glad it did happen, because I really, really needed it. Really. For the first time in a long time, I can look forward to tomorrow, rain or shine. Vee Vee!!! What time are we gonna watch the movie and all that jazz???????? I miss you!!! Where were you today?????? Hey! :( Bad news: Post grad isn’t playing anywhere! I checked all the theaters close by. Which movies do you guys wanna see? There’s “Sorority Row”, “Sunny With A Chance Of Meatballs”, “Jennifer’s Body”, “Love Happens” and “G.I. Joe”. I miss you too! I left school second period because I was in complete pain. :P Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow.  I no like scary movies. :( I get freaked out, yooo.